I leave for Denver in 5 days. God has been faithful, and the money has been coming in. I'm almost halfway there. I've still got $665 to go. But I know He will come through, because He's God.
I'm starting to get excited about all that I'll be involved with once I'm there. It's the "getting there" part that's hard. I've been doing laundry for the past 2 days, and I have yet to pack. I still have to say goodbye to a lot of people, and I have to do a lot of other things that I'm worried about cramming into this weekend. One thing that I am definitely taking time out for, is watching my brother get baptized Saturday night! He's decided to rededicate his life to the Lord, and so he wants to get baptized. I am so proud of him, and so thankful for the changes that have been happening over the last year. God is so good.
As excited as I am to go somewhere new, and to do the things God has planned for me, it will be hard leaving this place. I know it may sound pathetic, but I'm really sad about leaving my dogs. Not because I'll miss them (I will), but because they don't understand why I'm gone! For all they know, I could be dead. That's all...also, I'll really miss my nieces, and everyone else. But since this is what God has for me, I know it will be a great experience. Nothing I could have ever planned for myself. I know I will be stretched, and I will grow. I'll make new friends and I'll get a lot of ministry experience. I'll meet homeless people and kids from broken homes, and drug addicts...I'll tell them how much they are loved, and it will all be worth it in the end.
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Monday, July 23, 2012
Lord have mercy...
I've never wanted to write this badly, yet not know how to begin, so I will just begin. There is no order to my thoughts on this post...
I said goodbye to Miranda and Jennifer today. Although, Miranda says it's not goodbye. I didn't think it would be hard, because I feel like we've been saying goodbye for a while now. But each time, I knew when I'd be seeing them again. Today was the day that I couldn't be sure of that. I was caught off guard. I wasn't sad up until THEE moment of saying goodbye. But she's right, it's not goodbye. I just have a hard time leaving people. I'm not good with transition.
-Except for in blog posts...I can transition really fast ;)
We finished college. I graduated from COLLEGE. Summer is almost over. I went on an awesome road trip with my best friends. I'm going to Denver in 2 weeks. I've struggled all summer with Denver stuff. God is stretching my faith. I'm becoming my own person. I can see by reading my old posts, that I DO only write in transitioning times and that I seem to have grown a little more with each post.
For instance, I don't go to counseling anymore, but I don't have that urgent need to talk to someone every time something doesn't go right. Not that there's anything wrong with counseling, I'd still go if I were still in Greenville. But my point is that I'm okay without it. I AM okay with myself now. I can actually begin living the way God wants me to, and start helping other people. I have my friends to thank for that. And ultimately God, for placing them in my life, and giving them patience with me ;)
I have never been so free. I don't feel weighed down with sadness. I don't feel the chains anymore. God has worked so much in my life, and I can see him working in my family. I'd say it's a miracle what he is doing in my brother and sister's life, and I know my parents are next.
I feel like God is testing me a lot this summer. In the back of my mind I've been totally trusting in God with this Denver thing. I thought, if God wants me there, He will provide. I believed both. I still do. I know God wants me in Denver, and I know He will provide. But the way I've been "faithful", is not doing anything about it. Because I expect God to do something.
Well, my good buddy Miranda Caulkins pointed out the fact that I was ignoring the helicopter and boat that God has sent, because I was waiting for a miracle to happen. I've had the resources all summer to fund for Denver, I just didn't believe in myself enough to do it. And now it's crunch time, and I'm overwhelmed, and I don't know what's going to happen. I've always known that I'm a procrastinator. But I didn't realize how bad it was until now. This was something important...something that I couldn't "b.s." or come up with over night. It effects my future, and I should have been working from the start.
I have 2 weeks to get sponsored for over $900. Lord have mercy... I'm not prepared for Denver, because I've always been uncertain about whether I'm actually going or not. I want to, but if I don't have the money? I can't. So I have 2 weeks to get the money, to pack, to clean, to do laundry, to say goodbye to family. I just figure I'll mentally prepare myself on the 15hr car ride (if I go). <- see what I mean? This is my life right now. chaos.
I said goodbye to Miranda and Jennifer today. Although, Miranda says it's not goodbye. I didn't think it would be hard, because I feel like we've been saying goodbye for a while now. But each time, I knew when I'd be seeing them again. Today was the day that I couldn't be sure of that. I was caught off guard. I wasn't sad up until THEE moment of saying goodbye. But she's right, it's not goodbye. I just have a hard time leaving people. I'm not good with transition.
-Except for in blog posts...I can transition really fast ;)
We finished college. I graduated from COLLEGE. Summer is almost over. I went on an awesome road trip with my best friends. I'm going to Denver in 2 weeks. I've struggled all summer with Denver stuff. God is stretching my faith. I'm becoming my own person. I can see by reading my old posts, that I DO only write in transitioning times and that I seem to have grown a little more with each post.
For instance, I don't go to counseling anymore, but I don't have that urgent need to talk to someone every time something doesn't go right. Not that there's anything wrong with counseling, I'd still go if I were still in Greenville. But my point is that I'm okay without it. I AM okay with myself now. I can actually begin living the way God wants me to, and start helping other people. I have my friends to thank for that. And ultimately God, for placing them in my life, and giving them patience with me ;)
I have never been so free. I don't feel weighed down with sadness. I don't feel the chains anymore. God has worked so much in my life, and I can see him working in my family. I'd say it's a miracle what he is doing in my brother and sister's life, and I know my parents are next.
I feel like God is testing me a lot this summer. In the back of my mind I've been totally trusting in God with this Denver thing. I thought, if God wants me there, He will provide. I believed both. I still do. I know God wants me in Denver, and I know He will provide. But the way I've been "faithful", is not doing anything about it. Because I expect God to do something.
Well, my good buddy Miranda Caulkins pointed out the fact that I was ignoring the helicopter and boat that God has sent, because I was waiting for a miracle to happen. I've had the resources all summer to fund for Denver, I just didn't believe in myself enough to do it. And now it's crunch time, and I'm overwhelmed, and I don't know what's going to happen. I've always known that I'm a procrastinator. But I didn't realize how bad it was until now. This was something important...something that I couldn't "b.s." or come up with over night. It effects my future, and I should have been working from the start.
I have 2 weeks to get sponsored for over $900. Lord have mercy... I'm not prepared for Denver, because I've always been uncertain about whether I'm actually going or not. I want to, but if I don't have the money? I can't. So I have 2 weeks to get the money, to pack, to clean, to do laundry, to say goodbye to family. I just figure I'll mentally prepare myself on the 15hr car ride (if I go). <- see what I mean? This is my life right now. chaos.
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